


Kenma's thoughts on love

by angelapima



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelapima/pseuds/angelapima
Summary: Kenma doesn't know what love is so Kuro will help him find out.Or in which Kenma thinks he is losing his best friend and panics.





	1. Chapter 1

Everybody around Kenma seemed to think about love a lot. It's not like he didn't think about it at all... but he couldn't quite understand it. Others said it was like fireworks, others like a dream, but fireworks were always too loud for Kenma ,and dreams didn't make sense to him. If love was really like either, he hoped to never fall in love.

_________

He was at Kuroo's, playing on his phone as he lied on Kuroo's back while he was reading a book. They spent a lot of time like that, enjoying each others company quietly, each doing their own thing.  
He was spacing out when he heard Kuroo say  
"Do you like anyone?"   
Kuroo hadn't moved to look at Kenma but it was obvious that the older was talking to him. He didn't know how to answer however, in all the years of their friendship they had never brought this subject up.  
"No, not really. Why? Do you?"   
"I was just curious, and no, I don't like anyone."  
At that last part Kenma let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He decided not to think about it at the moment.  
After that they fell back to a silence, trying to ignore the awkwardness that had appeared due to the unusual subject.

____________

A few days later 

Kenma was once again playing on his phone, sitting on the couch, basically curled up against Kuroo. He was focused on his game yet he could hear Bokuto talking in the background. He was sitting across them with Akaashi's legs on his lap.  
"So Kuro, is there someone you like?"   
"No, I guess not."   
Kenma lifted his eyes from the game. Bokuto was wiggling his eyebrows at Kuroo, while Akaashi was looking at Kenma from the corner of his eyes.  
"Oh come on, there has to be someone..!"  
He turned his attention to Kuroo. Was that a blush on his face? Was he blushing? Bokuto seemed to have noticed too.  
"Ah! You are all red! So there is someone! Is it a girl from your class?"  
"Yes." Kuroo's voice was barely over a whisper now.   
Kenma just stared at him, gaping. They had talked about this. Kuroo was the one who brought this subject up. Why hadn't he told Kenma? Weren't they best friends?  
Bokuto's grin, however, only got wider.  
"What's her name?", you could even hear the smile in his voice.  
"Sara...."  
Kenma had seen Sara before... She was very pretty, with long silk black hair and blue eyes. She was a great student too...... He decided that he didn't want to listen any more of this conversation so he went back to his game, ignoring the voices of the people around him.  
______________  
Later that night 

Kenma was lying in his bed. He was tired, yet he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about Kuroo and the girl he liked.   
Why didn't he tell me? He's the one who brought it up. He said he didn't like anyone. Did he lie? Did he lie to me or to Bokuto? Why would he lie to me? He trusts me, doesn't he? Doesn't he?   
Tears started rolling down Kenma's eyes.  
Why do I care so much?  
He let the tears run until sleep took over him.  
______________  
A week later

Kenma was trying to find Kuroo. He was missing lunch so Kenma figured that he must be studying for a test in his class.   
He was about to enter Kuroo's classroom when he heard voices coming from inside. He peaked through the slightly open door.   
The room was empty but for two people. The one was Kuroo, he was standing facing him. He had one hand in his pocket while the other scratched the back of his neck. He was smiling. He didn't notice Kenma however. All of his attention was to the girl standing in front of him. Kenma couldn't see her face. What he could see thought was the long black silky hair.   
His heart nearly sunk in his chest. He wanted to leave, yet he couldn't bring himself to move. He just watched as Sara moved closer to his best friend.  
"So Kuro-kun, are you free to hang out today?"  
Kuroo smiled apologetically.  
"I'm really sorry Sara-chan, but I already have plans with a friend of mine. Maybe some other time."   
Kenma left. Kuroo had plans with him today. He should be glad Kuroo hadn't called them off, but for some reason he wasn't. How was he going to face him later?  
He rushed to the bathroom. Luckily it was empty. He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his Nekoma jacket. What was wrong with him? Why was he crying again? All he wanted was to disappear, for this to not be happening.   
He took in a few shaky breaths, cleaned his face with water, and a few moments later returned to the cafeteria claiming that he hadn't been able to find Kuroo.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that day

Kenma was sitting on his bed, waiting impatiently for Kuroo to come over. He had been avoiding Kuroo all day since lunch. He didn't even talk to him during practice, and when Kuroo tried to talk to him while they where getting changed Kenma just picked his bags and left without changing. They always left together, since they lived in the same neighbourhood, but that day they returned to their homes separately.   
Kenma stared at the clock. 7:12. Maybe he was lucky and Kuroo had decided on not coming after all. Kenma didn't really want to have to explaining why be did what he did. He didn't even know himself.   
He was brought back to reality by the sound of the doorbell. He remained still, his heart racing. He can hear his mother's footsteps before they come to a stop, and then the sound of a door opening. After Kuroo greeted Kenma's mother she informed him that Kenma was in his room.  
He wandered what he should do as he heard Kuroo approach his bedroom door, but once again, he couldn't bring himself to move.  
A knock on the door. He didn't answer. A second knock followed. He took in a shaky breath.  
"Come in."  
He was expecting Kuroo to look confused, asking him for an explanation for his antics. Instead Kuroo had his usual shit-eating grin plastered on his face as if nothing had happened.   
"Are you ready to get your ass beat in Mario kart??"  
A small smile formed on Kenma's face.  
"These are some very brave words coming from you."  
"Oh you think you can beat me?"  
"I know I can."  
"Just don't come crying when you lose Kitten."   
Kenma just handed him the console.   
________  
Kenma was losing, and he knew why. He couldn't concentrate. He had spaced out, nearly forgetting the game, his hands moving randomly, pressing buttons out of memory. He wasn't thinking of anything but he couldn't make himself go back to the game. He was only staring at the screen, not paying attention to it. He didn't even notice Kuroo glancing at him before sighing. He only noticed when the screen went black, and when he turned to Kuroo he nearly dumbed into him, not having realised how much closer the other had gotten so suddenly.  
"What's wrong?" Kuroo sounded concerned, his grin having disappeared entirely.  
"Nothing."   
Kuroo frowned.  
"There's obviously something bothering you."  
"Why do you care?" Kenma's eyes had started to water.  
"What do you mean why do I care? I'm your best friend, of course I care."  
"So you are my best friend? But am I yours?" Tears started rolling down his cheeks and he noticed that Kuroo was very close to crying himself.  
"Of course you are Kenma! Where's all this coming from?"  
"Then why didn't you tell me about Sara? You told me you didn't like anyone, did you lie? You were talking with her today? Are you together now? When where you planning on telling me? Or was I supposed not to know? You told her you couldn't hang with her today because you had plans with me-"  
He was cut off by Kuroo pulling him into a tight hug. They stayed a bit like that, crying while trying to pull each other closer. Then Kuroo took in a shaky breath.  
"Kenma I'm not with Sara. I don't even like her. I want to be here, with you, Kenma."  
"So you lied to Bokuto?" Kenma's voice was a rusty whisper. He sounded fragile, but at that moment he couldn't care less.  
"Yes, I lied to Bokuto." Kuroo said in a low voice.  
"So you didn't lie to me?" His voice was full of hope. Hope that he wasn't losing his best friend.   
"I...." Kuroo took in another breath and then sighted, "I lied to you, Kenma, too."  
"What?" His voice sounded almost broken.  
Kenma raised his head from Kuroo's chest to look at the other in the eyes. His expression full of confusion. He was looking for an answer in Kuroo's eyes. However the other's hazel eyes, red from the tears, were avoiding his.  
"I lied to you, Kenma. I told you I don't like anyone. But that was a lie, there is someone I like." Kuroo paused. He took a deep breath, and turned to look at the blond. In his eyes was an emotion that Kenma had seen before but never managed to understand. "I like you, Kenma."  
Kenma buried his face in Kuroo's chest once again to hide the fact that he was blushing furiously. He was about to say something when Kuroo started talking again.  
"I've liked you for so long. But I never had the guts to tell you. And i want to hug you and kiss you or just tell you how cute the face you make when you lose in a game is. But I was so scared. I still am. Because you are my friend. My best friend. And I don't want to lose what we have because of something stupid. Kenma I'm sorry I'm such a terrible best friend. Please say something."  
"You are such a dork", Kenma said with a smile. He was just so happy. "But you are not a terrible best friend. You are the greatest best friend I could wish for. And don't you dare say again that your feelings toward me are stupid."   
He raised his head to look at Kuroo. The eldest had a dump smile on his face and Kenma knew that he probably looked just as ridiculous. He leaned in slowly and booped his nose against the other's.   
Kuroo stared at him with eyes full of confusion. Kenma couldn't contain the laughter that had been slowly building up. He just laughed, he felt so happy, so light. Soon enough Kuroo started laughing too.  
Kuroo then fell on his back taking Kenma along with him. After a while their laughter dried out and, for a few moments, they just stayed like that on the bed, lightheaded from the laughter, staring at each other.   
Kenma's heart felt like it was going to take off, beating fast and loud in his chest. He felt Kuroo's hands on the small of his back and suddenly his face grew red. Kuroo just smiled softly at him.   
It somehow felt natural when he leaned down and pressed his lips on his childhood best friend's.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks later 

It was Friday night. Kenma was laying next to Kuroo on the couch. They were watching a movie but he was not paying attention. It had been a tough week and he was really tired. Sleep was about to take over him. He turned to look at his boyfriend, was not really surprised to see that he was sound asleep. Kuroo's week had been rough too. And he had given his all today at practice. They had a game against Karasuno coming up so they all tried to do their best. It must have been really tiring for Kuroo, being the captain, trying to do his best for his team.  
Kenma used the last of his power to grab the remote and turn down the volume. He covered them both with a blanket and curled against his asleep boyfriend. The moment he closed his eyes he felt all the exhaustion kick in. He was so at peace there. With Kuroo he felt safe.   
That was the last thought he made before the tiredness took over.  
_____________  
A month and half later

They had finished practice early that day. They started walking home together as usual. Kenma looked at the sky, it was full of dark grey clouds. He frowned.   
"Looks like it's going to rain." He exclaimed.   
Kuroo turned to him.   
"What is it Kitten? Afraid of a little water?"  
Kenma looked at the pavement as to hide his smile from the elder. He doesn't want Kuroo to know that he finds his stupid jokes funny.   
"I don't have an umbrella with me, that's all." He said with fake sadness.   
As if to give him a reason to actually be sad a loud sound of thunder followed his sentence.   
He stoped in his tracks and looked at his boyfriend with a slightly dramatic pout.   
Kuroo tried to sound serious but a smile was on his lips as he talked. He spoke loudly and with a theatrical expression.  
"Don't fear, my love , I shall offer you the protection of my own umbrella."  
Kenma just rolled his eyes.  
They started walking again. It hadn't even been 3 minutes when kenma felt a few drops of water on his hair. He raised his hand to confirm that it was indeed raining. And unfortunately, he was right. He stoped and looked at Kuroo in defeat.   
Kuroo reached in his bag and took out his umbrella, opening quickly, since he knew how much the other hated the rain.  
Silently Kenma walked next to Kuroo and they continued walking.   
Being surrounded by the rain Kenma felt like the rest of the world couldn't see them. The sound of the rain also blocked all other sounds. It was like there was no one else on earth but them and in that moment he felt happy. He felt happy because Kuroo was with him and he wasn't lonely. He would never again be lonely for Kuroo would never leave his side. That very though made his cheeks turn crimson and a small smile appear on his lips.   
"What are you smiling like that for?" Kuro asked, a smile hidden in his words.   
"Oh nothing." Kenma stopped and turned to face Kuro. He placed his hands on the elders neck lightly and stood on his tiptoes to look the other in the eyes.  
"I love you", he said and before the other had a chance to react he connected their lips.   
He felt Kuroo's hands on his waist and water dripping from his hair to his face. Kuroo must have let go of the umbrella but at that moment Kenma didn't care at all.  
Kuroo only pulled away after a while, placed his forehead on Kenma's and whispered   
"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

That weekend

The light coming from the window was enough to wake Kenma up. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled his lungs. He opened his eyes and looked around. It took him a while to realise that he wasn't in his bedroom, but in Kuroo's. They were watching horror movies last night and Kuroo's mom insisted that Kenma should spend the night there.   
He looked at Kuroo, sleeping peacefully next to him. His usual bedhead even worse than usual. He couldn't help but smile.   
He wrapped his arms around the others torso, placed his head on his boyfriend's chest and let out a deep breath. He closed his eyes, talking it all in; Kuroo's light breathing, the warmth he felt, his racing heart.  
Love wasn't like fireworks, nor like a dream. Love for Kenma was that very moment. It wasn't flashy or magical, but it was warm and cozy, with Kuroo steady heartbeat and the smell of cookies coming from the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♡


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